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A is for Adoption....

7/16/2014

When Allen and I married, we already knew that we wanted to adopt. I had a complete hysterectomy for medical reasons several years prior to our wedding. Actually, as we walked down the isle, we thought we had an adoption in the works. A relative was expecting a baby in a few months and she had said that we could adopt. We were so excited. We returned from our honeymoon to learn that she had changed her mind. We were heartbroken. The girl had been staying at our home while we were away and when we returned, she was gone. Along with some of my clothes and other stuff. Double whammy! She did not leave a note. She did not call. She just left.

We started going to different meetings about adoption. International adoptions. Orphanage adoptions. Private adoptions. We discovered that the waiting lists were very long. The criteria was very strict. The costs of some of these options was astronomical. We were not financially able to do this. We were devastated!

I started being involved in a church outreach program that housed homeless families. There was a family there that had five children. They were adorable. I started taking a couple of them home with me on the weekends. Every weekend we would arrive back at our home and my weekend of bliss would begin. I enjoyed getting clothes for them and fixing their hair. We would go to the park and play for hours. During that summer they would stay for weeks at a time. I fell in love with those children. I knew that they were not mine. I knew that someday that they would be gone from our life. I was just not prepared for how bad that would hurt. The couple moved out of the outreach center and left no forwarding address. To this day, I still wonder what happened to those babies.

I started brainstorming on how we were going to adopt our own baby. I went to a local business and had t-shirts printed. The front of the shirts said "Wanted Newborn Baby" and the back said "To Adopt and Love Forever". I wore those shirts everywhere. I wore them to work at my Dad's store. I wore them when I went to the grocery store. I wore them to the beauty salon. I am sure that people thought that I had lost my mind. I did not care. I was determined.

The first relative that had decided to leave us while on our honeymoon came back into our lives after a death in the family. She needed help with her two children. She was not able to take care of them. We, of course, said yes! We enrolled the oldest one in kindergarten and the baby was now eight months old. Yes, this was the baby that we almost adopted. We had the honor of raising them for almost a year. I got to celebrate their birthdays. I got to be a room mother at the school. I got to enjoy all the joys of watching the little one learn to walk. The arrival of the first teeth for him. The losing of the first teeth for her. We were having all of the blessings and all of the responsibilities of parenthood but we knew that it would change. I still was not a mom. I was "Aunt Cindy", not "Mom". Allen was " Uncle Allen", not "Dad"! And when it did, it was devastating! Our hearts were broken!

I continued to wear my shirts. I continued to tell everyone I knew that we were wanting to adopt. Mind you, this whole story, up to this point was only two years. A roller coaster of emotions for two years! Then, one day in June 1989, our phone rang and it was my hairdresser. She said " Hey, Cindy! Are you and Allen still wanting to adopt?" . My heart skipped a beat as I answered "YES!" She said "Would you be interested in a baby that is about a year old?"

........................To be continued on my next blog!

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How to Have a Terrific Day!

7/15/2014

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People ask me everyday "How do you always seem so happy?". Well, the secret to happiness really is not complicated. Just start with one day. A day like today! My secret is that I love life! "How?", you ask. I believe it all has to do with your mindset. You have to make up your mind to see the magic in everything. On the day that I was diagnosed with lung cancer and told that I only had a 15% chance of survival, I had already prepared myself. I already knew that each day is beautiful. I had realized that long before that day. I knew that each and everyday that we are allowed to laugh, or see the beauty that surrounds us was so precious. Before I even get out of bed in the morning, I already know that today is going to be awesome. Do you think this sounds silly?

I love watching my flowers bloom! Do you ever just look at their beauty? They are so amazing to look at! Oh, and the smell is almost mesmerizing. Now doesn't that just make you love life? What if I woke up and thought about how hard the work was to achieve that lovely garden? What if I did nothing but complain about how they attract bugs and other creepy, crawly critters? If all I worried about was how they were going to make my allergies act up or that they were eventually going to die. Well, that would be so depressing! I would make myself miserable and probably those around me would just cringe as I complained about those things! The way you look at life is totally up to you!

If you change the way you look at life, you can change the way you feel! Dwell on the positives, not the negatives. Enjoy each and every part of each and every thing. Live your day as a happy person and you will never go back to sadness again! I do have more to share with you and share, I will! But, for now, I am heading out to enjoy the happiness that is my life. You are welcome to join me!

Have a Totally Terrific Tuesday! Hurry because it is the last one this week!

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Worth the Wait

7/14/2014

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Have you ever just met someone and they just take your breath away? You get those butterflies in your stomach, whenever they are near! As you get to know each other better and have those long talks and then suddenly you realize that this person is the one! The one that you want to spend your life with. The one that you want to grow old with. The one that you want to be the father to your children. You just love everything about them. This is how it was when I met my husband.

We met in college, in Humanities class. I thought that he was the best looking thing in the universe! I also thought that he was way out of my league. I was pretty insecure as a teen and young adult. The thought that he could be even remotely interested in me was way beyond my understanding. I did not even get it when he would walk me to my car after class. I just thought that he was a thoughtful person. It was night classes and the parking lot was a scary place in that part of town. For many weeks we would walk out together and he would wait while I put my books in the car and I got in all safe and sound. Actually, there was another guy that walked with us. I hardly remember him even being there because all I could see was "him". I hung on every word that he spoke. I really listened. I decided that maybe I should call him at work and ask him to my place for dinner. I felt so nervous as I dialed the phone. What if he said no? What if he thought that I was a fool? I decided that nothing ventured was nothing gained and I made that call. Just about the only thing that I knew how to cook was homemade spaghetti sauce. So I call and invite him for some homemade spaghetti and to my surprise, he said "yes"! Oh my goodness, I really had butterflies then!

I wore a dress for the occasion. I made my sauce. I set the table. I tidied up my apartment. I was a nervous bundle of energy! He was supposed to be there at six. I went back to check my face and makeup. Okay fifteen more minutes. Fourteen. Thirteen. Is the sauce still simmering? Are the noodles clumping together? Should I light candles? No, don't light candles. That would be strange if he thinks this is just two friends having dinner. Oh, no! It is six-fifteen and he is not here. Did I give him my phone number? What if he got lost? Okay, it is six-thirty. Did he forget? Now, it is seven. Oh, great! I have been stood up! I feel like such a fool! It is seven-thirty, I suppose I should put away the spaghetti. What was that? Someone is knocking on my door! I open the door and I melt. There he is all apologetic about being so late. Some kind of problem on a job. (This was way before cell phones) and I had not given him my phone number. Dinner was delicious!

We had a wonderful dinner and then we went dancing. He took me home and we sat in my living room talking. Nothing more than just good old fashioned conversation. During this time in my life, I worked one full time job during the week and took classes full time for four of the nights. I also worked every weekend at my dad's store. I would open the store at six in the morning. We sat and talked until five. I had to push him out of the door so that I could get to work. We did the same thing the next night. The next weekend was a repeat, too! Of course, we saw each other at college. There was no mistake! We were in love!

It took us six years to finally walk down the isle! I do not know why it took us so long. Perhaps we both worked too much. It could be that we were chicken because so many of our friends had married and divorced. Whatever, the reason we waited does not matter. What is truly important is that we did! And guess what? It has been nearly 27 years since I walked down that isle and right at 33 years since that spaghetti dinner. And, yes, he is still very often late for dinner and yes, he is still very much worth the wait! I still get those butterflies and I still love him with all of my heart!

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The Lost Art of Being Friendly!

7/13/2014

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Who remembers when the world was a friendly place? A time when you spoke to each person that you meet. A time when you took the time to just smile and chat with a total stranger. Oh, those were truly the " good ole days"! Yesterday, I got to enjoy such a day! It was so amazing and you would not believe how great it made me feel.

The day began just as any other. I wrote my blog for my challenge and I made a few Facebook posts. I really needed to go to the grocery store and the Farmers Market but I felt that I would just go ahead and get everything at one location. I hurried into the store and started gathering my groceries. I am usually friendly but no one usually pays me any attention. Not today! I saw the cutest little elderly man and I smiled. He smiled and patted my arm as I walked by! He acted like he knew me and had not seen me in a long while. I said " Good Morning and How are you Today?" . Wow! That was all it took! He and I talked through the entire store. Before I knew it, we each knew where each one was from. We knew where we each went to church. We knew each other's name. I now know James. I even know where his wife is from and that his favorite niece is named Cindy, just like me. Before James left with his groceries, he wanted to know if he could give me a hug! He said that I was the friendliest, happiest person that he had ever met! Well, that just made my heart sing!!!!

After James had left and I continued with my shopping, I had another man asking me how to pick out a good watermelon. I had no problem answering his questions. As a matter of fact, I had just posted how to do that on my Facebook that very morning. I just whooped out my handy dandy phone and showed him. We ran into each other a few more times and we would discuss our selections and joke about how we were following each other. I do not know why I was getting so much interaction on this day. Maybe, I was smiling extra big or maybe I was the one being a bit more friendly.

Even at the checkout counter, I had a young man and his daughter waiting behind me in line. They wanted to know if they could help me lift my 3 cases of water onto the counter. (There was a sale!) I told them " Thank you for offering but I believe the cashier has the codes." We continued to talk while we waited for our turn. They have an 85 lb. dog! His daughter gets told about her beautiful eyes all of the time! He is worrying about some dog hair on his shirt and that his own hair falls out into his baseball cap. I said that my hair was shedding, too! I told them not as bad as when I had chemo and laughed. He said that he doesn't know how bad that would be and I told him that it was not "all" bad because when you are bald headed that nothing feels better than getting to scrub your scalp with a washcloth! We laughed some more!

This wave of friendliness continued with the cashier and the baggage clerk. Everyone just seemed so genuinely friendly. It reminded me of days gone by. It reminded me that we each need to take the time to be kind and friendly. It really takes so little effort and it brings so many smiles. How about you? Are you friendly?

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Not Marilyn Monroe! This was my Mom!

7/12/2014

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Marilyn Monroe was admired by many back in the day. I suppose by looking at my mother's picture that she admired Marilyn, too! This picture was taken in 1955 when my mom was 16! Whew! Beautiful! My mom was born in January, 1939 in Whitewright, Texas. Her parents were Nobe Oretha Clounch and Vernie D. Robertson. She lived in the country with her maternal grandparents after her parents divorced, until her mom remarried. I have been told that she did some modeling as a teen and young adult. I can see that! She was very beautiful. She and my dad met on a blind date when she was 20. They married and I was born when she was 21. Then my little sister and little brother followed a few years later.

Mom's beauty was not only skin deep! She was an amazing person. She was the life of the party. She loved being involved with her children and theirs lives. She coached our soccer teams, she taught the pee wee drill team, and she was always the P.T.A. room mother. She would encourage me to have slumber parties and sleep overs at our house. She taught all my friends how to do the shimmy! I could never get that one! She would dress up on Halloween and pass out the candy to the neighborhood children. She was the one who would tell you like it is! If she thought you were wrong, she had no problem telling you about it! You could always count on my mom to be there for you! She was a very strong woman. She survived her divorce with my dad and having to go out in the real world and get a job. She learned to support herself. She did all of this and still was amazingly involved with our lives. She was the first one there if you were sick or needed help in any way. She was a wonderful doting grandmother for my two daughters. She married again. This time to a man that was about 20 years younger than she was. When she was 49, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went through a total mastectomy and radiation and many chemotherapy treatments. She stopped her chemo because she decided that they were just trying to get more money out of her! That was my mom! Very Strong minded and if she got an idea in her head, it wasn't going to leave! Her health declined over the next few years. She had become a diabetic. She had a stroke. Yet, she remained a constant in our lives. Getting her to go to a doctor was darn near impossible! On my youngest daughters first birthday, she was determined to come to my house for her birthday party. Mom, had been having severe pains in her legs for weeks and we did have a doctors appointment for the following day to have that checked out. She had my step-father bring her to our house for the party and to spend the night so that I could drive her to her appointment the next day while he was at work. She also seemed to be having stroke like symptoms. Problems with following conversations and she was very wobbly. We made it through the party and through the night. The next day at the doctors office we discovered that her cancer had returned. It had returned with a vengeance! There were seven tumors on her brain and the cancer had spread to her bones. Did I already tell you that my mom was very strong minded? She told them flat out "NO CHEMO!" This was on a Friday. Our family spent the entire weekend trying to convince her to take the treatments. She finally agreed by Monday. We go to the appointment and guess what? They said it was too late! They sent her home with Hospice. The next six weeks and 3 days I stayed at my mother's side day in and day out! She had a morphine drip and a whole mirage of pills to make her life less painful. Within just a short time, she was no longer the strong, beautiful mom that we had known. She could not talk or walk. She could not eat. She was suffering so much. This was the most unbearable thing to witness. If only she had gotten help sooner. If only she had not given up the first time. If only! If only! If only! If only we had not lost her on June 1st, 1995. She is still her in my heart and I think of her daily. Yes, I am strong like her but I am also different.

I believe in being a strong person. I believe in standing up for what you believe is right. I believe that you have to fight for life! I believe in being there for your family and friends. I believe in God and prayer! I believe in listening to the doctors and researching on your own. I believe in natural therapies, too! I believe that I will beat cancer! I believe that I do not want to leave my family with memories of me giving up! I believe in positive thinking! I believe that after almost 20 years that I am still grieving. I believe that I will do the very best that I can! I believe! I believe! I believe!

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Who Doesn't Love a Good Massage?

7/11/2014

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Ouch! My aching back! I sure could use a good massage. How many times do you catch yourself saying that? I find myself saying that very often. Which is kind of funny because I am a massage therapist. I owned and operated a small spa for many years. I loved helping my clients everyday. I had a very busy practice where I would do seven or eight massages per day, six days per week. There is something so rewarding about helping people feel better. Between giving many deep tissue massages, sports massages, hot stone massages or even relaxing Swedish massages, I can tell you that I enjoyed getting massages as well as giving them!

I gave up my spa about six years ago, when my Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Taking care of my Dad became my full time job and massaging clients at my home became my part time business. I think giving the massages at home saved my sanity! My massage workload was greatly reduced to giving only one or two per day. Always scheduled around my Dad's nap schedule and when I knew someone else was home to watch him if he were to wake up. Oh, those were some crazy days! You never knew what the day would bring! He walked around saying "WOW -WOW-Wow!" at the top of his lungs. He opened car doors while we were driving to doctors appointments. I did learn to make him sit in the back seat with the child safety locks. He would go out the door when no one was looking. Once I caught him making himself a peanut butter and spaghetti sauce sandwich! There were daily adventures! Never a dull moment! Looking back, I should have scheduled massages for myself during that time. Sadly, my Dad passed away in October 2009. Then I was diagnosed with Small Cell Carcinoma of the Lung in late December of the same year.

I began my Cancer treatment in January 2010. And again....... I reduced my workload. I was now down to giving only three or four massages per week. These were still one of the greatest joys that I had. It helped me to concentrate on other people instead of concentrating on myself. I was only given a 15% chance of survival. I made it my mission to enjoy every moment that I could. I wanted to make people laugh and I wanted to make other people feel better. I kept a positive attitude and with the Grace of God, I am still here, four and a half years later. I also started working on my garden during this time. There is something very therapeutic about creating a beautiful garden and yard. Now, mind you, this wasn't easy. I dug out grass with a hand spade and laid a beautiful cobblestone patio and garden path. I planted roses, not just one or two, but more like 40 to 50 rose bushes. I love the way it all turned out. It is really like my own little oasis. But during all of the work on my yard I managed to tear my rotator cuff and my deltoid muscle. Sound impressive, huh? More like painful!!! I get the most relief when I get a massage. Does that happen as often as it should? Nope! I have been grounded from giving massages for many weeks now. So that means, I do not get to enjoy helping my clients get rid of their pain and I do not get paid to NOT give massages. Therefore, I can't pay to have someone give me a massage, either! GOSH, I SURE DO MISS MASSAGES!!!

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Who Remembers the Drive-In Movies?

7/10/2014

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Who remembers going to the drive-in movies? I can remember going with my parents and my little brother and sister. We would all pile into the station wagon and off we would go. There was a little playground for us to play on before the movie and during intermission. We would bring pillows and blankets for the back of the station wagon because the three of us children would hardly ever stay awake for the second feature. There are not very many of these around anymore but we discovered one that is about 30 miles from our home. It is called the Galaxy Drive-In and it is located in Ennis, Texas. The price is fairly reasonable at seven dollars per adult and three dollars per child. This includes two movies. I have been a few times with my daughter and her friends. This one does not have a playground but it does have a little miniature golf area. The snack bar is very reasonable, too. There is nothing like sitting in your car a watching the big screen. You can use the little boxes for the sound or now you can even tune in on your car radio. They usually have some of the same movies that you would find at any movie theater. It is an awesome experience. A real enjoyable time from an era gone by.

My daughter, age 20, and her boyfriend, age 23, go there about once every couple of months. For about $20.00, they get 2 movies and dinner from the snack bar. These two like to take the lawn chairs and sit in front of the car during the movie. They are going tonight to see some kind of scary movies. I will not be going with them this time because I'm not into the scary ones. I am a big baby! I will be lending them my car to go because it is much more dependable.( They did say they would put gas in my car!) Will I be waiting up for them to come home? You had better believe it! It is my car, after all!

Do you have a drive-in movie theater close to you? If you do, you really should go, at least once. It is an experience that many never have! Do something different! Have an awesome summer!

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Today is the Day!

7/9/2014

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Okay, my friends! This is it, today is the day to finally start making those changes that you have been wanting to make! You know the ones that I am talking about. It is those very things that you always say you are going to start tomorrow or next week or perhaps even next month. Why waste time waiting for those other times? Today is a good day to start.

If it is a healthier diet that you always talked about and you already messed up with an unhealthy breakfast, so what!!! You still have at least two other meals and possibly some snacks to get it right! It is not too late to drink water instead of sodas! It is not too late to grab an apple or a banana instead of a cookie or chips! You can do this because you know that it will help you to feel better.

Perhaps it is exercise that you have been putting off! There are many simple exercises that you can do to help get you started. No gym membership required. You know that you can take the stairs instead of the elevator. You know that you can park your car farther from the door. You know that you can do some quick stretches at your desk. When you go for a bathroom break, do a few squats or lunges in the bathroom. It only takes a few minutes of your day. But if you do this every time you go, it amounts to a good start.

What if you just want to have a better attitude? What can you do? This one just takes a small effort on your part. Start with a smile in your mirror. Then share that smile with everyone you see. Try giving everyone you see today a sincere compliment. Practice kindness. Hold the door for someone. Help someone carry a heavy load. Instead of concentrating on the negatives, try concentrating on the positives! You will be more productive and happier and you will feel great!

Whatever it is that you have been putting off until another day can be started today. It is all up to you! I believe you are worth it, don't you! Start today and to it tomorrow! Have an awesome day!

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Oh, Rats! There is a Critter on my Porch!

7/8/2014

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Everyone knows how much I love beginning my day on my back porch. I also love to end my day here, too! It usually helps me to unwind and relax for the night. Well, not so much for the past couple of weeks. I keep seeing a large mouse or a small rat scurrying around in the evening. He is very quick and it is so hard to get a good look at him. He is very mischievous, knocking over small flower pots and my pictures and other artsy stuff that I have sitting around on the iron bakers rack and small desk that sits in the corner. He climbs up the curtains that I have on the outside of the bedroom sliding door. He climbs in and out of the small baskets of garden tools and supplies. For the last couple of nights he has added some singing to his routine. I think he is singing " You Can't Touch This" ! We have put out a rat trap, the old fashioned kind with a piece of cheese. He has not touched it! I have to admit that I do not want to see him caught in it. I am thinking that would tear me up to see his squished little body. I wish that I could just relocate him to the wooded area down by the creek. But how would I catch him? Please share any ideas that you may have! Have an awesome day!

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Living and Loving Life

7/7/2014

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I love waking up in the morning and going to my back porch that opens up to my garden. There is just something magical about watching the sun come up and shine it's light upon my roses. With the sounds of the water falling in the fountain and the birds singing their morning song, I just feel like I have arrived in heaven. It is so peaceful and heartwarming that I am at peace with the world. This is when I do my best thinking. I feel like I can conquer any problems that life throws my way. This morning routine helps me to have positive, happy thoughts throughout my day. I must admit that sometimes I just do not want to leave my magical garden. I know that I must go back to reality and get started with the work of the day. I just refuse to start my day without taking one more mental picture of this peaceful, beautiful scene, so that I may reflect on it throughout the day.

I, of course, do pull myself away because I know that there are people that depend upon me and I will always be there for them. There are responsibilities that need to be tended to. There are projects that need to be finished. There are hands to hold and uplifting words that need to be spoken. I do love my life and all of the people that are a part of it. Each moment is special and important. I enjoy it all, but in the back of my mind, I believe that part of me is still there in the garden. May your day be filled with the beauty and sounds of a garden!

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A is for Adoption....

How to Have a Terrific Day!

Worth the Wait

The Lost Art of Being Friendly!

Not Marilyn Monroe! This was my Mom!

Who Doesn't Love a Good Massage?

Who Remembers the Drive-In Movies?

Today is the Day!

Oh, Rats! There is a Critter on my Porch!

Living and Loving Life

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